Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill & Zombie Farm

Posted: 07/31/2011 in Movies

Due to my brother’s vacation plans, Zombie Movie Night came a week early. This month, we took a look at Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill and Zombie Farm.

Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill

Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill, or DVTROBB for short, is a total crapfest that makes Sci-Fi Channel original movies look like Oscar contenders. It tells the story of a local debate team who get carjacked by a stereotype on their way to the big debate. The stereotype is inexplicably carless in the middle of the desert and tracking down his drug-dealing buddy. He leads the crew by gunpoint into a mysterious ghost town. They soon discover that the town is inhabited by the zombie/ghost/spirit of an evil Confederate soldier named Bloody Bill and his growing zombie army. Crappiness quickly ensues.

THE GOOD: I picked a bad time to start a new review format. I’m really hard-pressed to identify anything good about this piece of garbage. (It didn’t even feature any nudity) It does have a certain level of so-bad-it’s-funny enjoyment, but most of the characters are so annoying that it doesn’t last all that long.

THE BAD: DVRTVROOBBR fails on just about every level. Annoying, stereotypical characters? Check. Predictably bad acting? Check. God-awful dialogue? Double-check!

You really know what you’re in for when you hear the music during the opening credits. Some crappy garage band with fantastic lyrics like: “I fight someone who’s ready to fight!” We’re treated to this song again towards the climax of the movie when it seems like the main character is running from a swarm of zombies extra long just so they can get the song played in its entirety.

The acting is all pretty bad, but the poor saps were really given nothing to work with. You could get pretty sloshed by taking a shot every time the characters ask their zombie-bitten friend “what’s wrong?” or “are you alright?”

THE ZOMBIES: Bloody Bill is your main baddie here. I guess he’s a zombie because he’s dead, but he functions more like a typical Jason-esque slasher. He walks around slowly and appears out of nowhere. He even falls for the old, hero-dresses-up-as-the-villain’s-loved-one, routine. He controls an army of running zombies made up of his victims. While they are fast zombies, outside of the opening sequence, they never seem all that threatening. They often choose to attack one at a time and even when it looks like a horde of them have the heroes trapped, it turns out to only be 3 or so of them.

OVERALL: DVTROBB is bad, and not really in a fun way. It wasn’t painful enough to break into the bottom 5, but unless you’re a glutton for zombie movie punishment, you’d be wise to skip this one.

Current ZMN Rank: #45 out of 51

Zombie Farm

In almost complete contrast to Bloody Bill, is Zombie Farm, a low-budget, but well-made zombie tale. A battered woman seeks help from a kind-hearted, but fraudulent spiritual healer. He admits that he cannot help her and advises her to go to the police. Instead, she seeks out a voodoo priestess, who gives the woman a drink that turns her abusive husband into a zombie. A more extreme result than she was hoping for, she returns to the first healer, who along with a journalist looking for a story, seek to uncover the roots of the zombie plot.

THE GOOD: Zombie Farm is really well-acted with strong performances from its two leads: Adriana Catano as the journalist and Roberto Montesinos as the spiritual healer. Montesinos particularly shines as the huckster with a heart of gold.

It does take awhile to get to the actual zombies. It reminded me of some of the older zombie movies like City of the Dead, where the zombie action is light, but builds up until the climax. That’s not usually my cup of tea, but the story and characters in Zombie Farm are strong enough to carry it through.

I also have to tip my hat to the makers of Zombie Farm. As it turns out, Catano is also a swimsuit model, but you’d never know it in this movie where she spends most of her time wearing a tactical vest. The director really showed some restraint in not throwing in an obligatory “getting dressed in her hotel” scene. It’s a testament to her acting ability that I didn’t even realize how hot she was until I Google-searched Zombie Farm images before writing this review.

THE BAD: The voodoo bad guy has some questionable motives. Apparently, she’s creating an army of the undead for……cheap manual labor, or to attack her paying customers? I guess it doesn’t have to make sense if you’re evil.

Like I mentioned before, the zombie action comes at a snail’s pace. If you’re in the mood for a fast-moving, zombie romp you might want to check this one out at a different time.

Also, Adriana Catano is pretty hot. The director couldn’t have thrown in a shower scene or a “getting dressed in the hotel” underwear scene? C’mon!

Wardrobe:”What are you thinking for the sexy, lead actress?” Director: “Bulky vest, lots of pockets!”

THE ZOMBIES: Zombie Farm’s zombies are a cross between voodoo zombies and your more standard, modern ghouls. Some appear more feral and bitey, while others are capable of sneaking around and taking people out with chloroform. They are all under the control of the voodoo priestess, they seem unkillable (one continues to function after suffering a gunshot right in the forehead), but the climax reveals a convenient way for them all to be disposed of.

If you like social messages built into your zombie fare, how’s this one: Domestic violence relationships can be complicated, confusing, and hard to break out of. Sometimes your zombie husband will fight another zombie to defend you, but then quickly turn around and try to eat you.

OVERALL: While not your standard zombie movie, Zombie Farm is a solid and well-made addition to the genre. Definitely give it a shot!

Current ZMN Rank: #21 out of 51

Zombie Movie Night Standings

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Comments
  1. ArghZombies says:

    Damn, whenever I read about zombie movie I’ve not heard about (in this case Death Valley) I feel I need to track it down for myself, so it’s annoying that I know I’m going to have to waste my time finding it and my money on buying it just so I can watch it!

    Oh well, I’m sure I’ll have seen worse movies. (I’m still waiting for something worse than ‘Mulva Zombie Ass Kicker’. That’s going to take some beating).

  2. I know that feeling. I would implore you to find a way to see it without spending any money. The filmmakers don’t deserve it. There are definitely worse movies out there. I haven’t seen Mulva, but I have trouble believing that there’s a movie out there worse than Motocross Zombies from Hell.

  3. […] Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill & Zombie Farm […]

  4. Andrew Brace says:

    how does zombie u know become a zombie
    besides being bitten

  5. Zombie movies give us a variety of causes for a zombie pandemic, so the initial victims may become zombies based on what that cause was, be it a virus, manmade toxin, meteor dust, evil movie prop, whatever. Most films share the idea that a zombie bite will spread the infection, though there are some exceptions. For a lot of movies, a victim can also become infected by coming into contact with infected blood (see 28 Days Later). Old-school voodoo zombies typically don’t infect others at all, through bites or other means. You would have to come under control of the voodoo master in some manner to become a zombie slave. The movie Pontypool takes a really unique approach to infection; zombies spread through infected words and phrases.

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