Mutant Vampire Zombies from the ‘Hood & Make-Out with Violence

Posted: 09/07/2011 in Movies

For Zombie Movie Night: September 2011, my choice was Make-Out with Violence. My brother presented Mutant Vampire Zombies from the ‘Hood. Based on titles and description I thought for sure I had selected the better movie. That’s the funny thing about ZMN though, looks can be deceiving.

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the ‘Hood

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

Rival gangs are meeting to exchange a prisoner and sell some drugs, while two gutsy cops are preparing to bust in and break up the whole deal. In the midst of all this, the zombie apocalypse strikes. If you’re thinking that this sounds a lot like the beginning of The Horde……not quite. Mutant Vampire Zombies from the ‘Hood is as goofy and self-aware as the title would suggest. At times it’s genuinely funny, at other times it’s groan-worthy, and it ends up being a fairly decent movie.

THE GOOD: Mutant Vampire Zombies knows what it is and doesn’t try to be anything different. All of the humor and action is very tongue-in-cheek. Most of the acting is predictably bad and stereotypes abound, but for the most part, the movie is pretty entertaining. And not only do they throw in some gratuitous nudity, as the credits roll one actress is listed as “Gratuitous nudity zombie victim”, which might be the funniest part of the movie.

THE BAD: Yeah, there’s bad acting, and bad dialogue, and bad effects, plot holes, blah, blah, blah, but really what would you expect? If you go into this one with sufficiently low expectations, you won’t be disappointed.

THE ZOMBIES: Despite the title, this is really a straight-forward zombie movie. A solar flare flashes across the Earth, causing zombification of anyone who wasn’t underground or surrounded by steel or something (think Night of the Comet). The characters sometimes refer to the zombies as vampires and talk about them sucking blood, but none of that ever seems to happen. Some of the zombies are higher functioning and can talk and ambush our heroes. But even these zombies’ motives are much more zombie than vampire. There’s also a point when the zombies “mutate” which I guess might make them mutants, but they really just become taller, beefier zombies. The one true zombie twist that the movie gives us is the zombie’s desire to rape humans. That’s right, equal to their need to feed is their need to rape. You see, if they don’t rape, then they’ll mutate into the aforementioned bigger zombies. It all makes sense when explained by a sexy scientist lady…well, no it doesn’t, but most of the time it’s just better not to think too much on Zombie Movie Night.

VERDICT: Mutant Vampire Zombies is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s nowhere near the bottom of the zombie movie heap. It’s entertaining and a good for a few laughs. I give it a lukewarm recommendation.

Current ZMN Rank: #26 out of 53

Make-Out with Violence

Make-Out with Violence is the Ryan Leaf of zombie movies. It had a lot of potential and looked good on the surface, but ultimately it’s just stupid and a waste of everyone’s time.

It starts out with a good indie-movie vibe. It’s narrated by a 10-year-old boy and we’re introduced to a cast of quirky characters, all loosely connected to one another by a friend who at the beginning of the movie is missing and presumed dead. Three brothers end up finding the body, which as it turns out, is not quite dead. They decide to keep her and what follows is……….nothing……………absolutely nothing.

Make-Out is a bit like the movie, Dead Girl. But, Dead Girl went in the direction of being disturbing and perverse. In achieving that, it was decent and interesting film. Make-Out on the other hand, takes a similar scenario and goes in no direction.

THE GOOD: Like I said, there’s definite potential for Make-Out. The characters seem interesting at first and the idea of throwing a zombie into a quirky indie-movie seems interesting. Unfortunately, the filmmakers provide no payoff whatsoever. The characters don’t do anything, the zombie doesn’t do anything, and nothing is resolved.

The scenes in which the zombie girl actually moves (which are few and far between) are genuinely creepy. She has a disjointed gait reminiscent of the chick from the Ring. But again, zero payoff. Outside of eating a rat that’s shoved in her mouse, she never does anything remotely threatening and the characters barely react to her in any way that’s not completely boring.

THE BAD: See above. There were so many interesting directions that this movie could have taken. Instead, nothing happens.

THE ZOMBIES: Zombie girl is the sole zombie. She’s found undead and tied up in the woods, but no one bothers to question how she got that way. It’s never made clear whether she’s infectious or not. She is certainly slow-moving and spends most of the movie hanging out in a bathtub.

VERDICT: Make-Out with Violence is a particularly frustrating movie because it could have been so much better, but ended up being incredibly boring. Honestly, had I not been watching this with my brother as part of ZMN, I probably would have turned it off at the mid-way point. In fact, we had planned on watching a third movie, but Make-Out sucked all of the zombie joy out of the air, and we called it a night. Sorry, Zombie Women of Satan, you’ll just have to wait until next month.

Current ZMN Rank: #52 out of 53

Current ZMN Standings: ZMN PDF

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