Death Bite

Posted: 10/03/2011 in Books

Death Bite by Laurie Bowler

After reading Death Bite, I feel like I owe Jason “Dirty” Sanchez (author of When They Come) an apology. I was pretty harsh in my review of Come, but Laurie Bowler makes Sanchez look like Stephen King.

Death Bite tells the story of… something… about things… with zombies… I think. You see, it’s all pretty incoherent. Ah Hell, let’s just get to the meat of the review.

THE GOOD: The author’s name is Laurie Bowler. I like bowling. I’m in a league. We bowl on Sunday nights. It’s a good time. The End.

THE BAD: It’s all bad. There’s nothing redeemable about this book. It’s really poorly written. There are typos all over the place and reads as if English is a second language for Bowler (which might be the case, which is fine, but you really need to study up and have someone proofread your stuff). Character development? Not necessary. Instead the reader is treated to a bullet-point rundown of each character in the prologue. It’s almost like a character select screen in a video game with a really poor Japanese-to-English translation. The plot is nearly non-existent. The main characters are searching for survivors, or they may be in search of supplies, then they enter a hospital for no specific reason, only to realize that they have to head to the top of a skyscraper to avoid the deadly chemical that the government is about to unleash on the city. Then it ends. Yep, it’s also extremely short. (Which is really a blessing. I don’t think I could have finished it if it were much longer)

THE UGLIES: The zombies apocalypse was caused by “the” government ordering the use of a “chemical of mass destruction” against neighboring countries after war is declared. It’s not specified which country’s government, or who they were at war with, or who the neighboring countries were, but hey, it’s the zombie apocalypse, let us not get caught up in details. This same mysterious government is also now bombing it’s own land with a new chemical agent that melts living creatures, humans and zombies alike. (God, this government sucks. Hope it’s not my country.) Anyway, the zombies are pretty standard. They seem to be slow moving as the characters wade through them pretty easily.

THE VERDICT: Death Bite is truly awful in every way possible. At $0.99 on Amazon it is severely overpriced. I’ve read vacuum cleaner instruction manuals that were more entertaining. Avoid at all costs. Unless you’re related to Laurie Bowler, there’s really no reason that you should read this book. 0 out 13 stars.

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Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    Do you know anything about zombies or do you just make stuff up because you cant write a zombie book yourself??? All your reviews are a total joke. I really hope you are happy with yourself for continously taking down a hard working author of any kind. someone that puts their everything into what they do. what exactly gives you the right to write such a terrible review? You have to be the most odious person I have ever met or heard about on the internet!!!

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