Days of Darkness & Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

Posted: 10/08/2011 in Movies

Zombie Movie Night October 2011 marks the 2nd anniversary of the very first Zombie Movie Night. As is such, October is a special time for ZMN. To celebrate, my brother and I try to cram as many zombie movies as time (and our wives) will allow in order to kick off the ZMN season correct. ZMN Octoberganza starts with back-to-back movie nights on Friday and Saturday, includes a trip to the local “Zombie Film Feast”, and will conclude with a Four Movie Mini-Marathon the Friday before Halloween. With much excitement and anticipation we kicked off Octoberganza with…..the single worst night of zombie viewing we’ve had to date (wah wah).

Days of Darkness

Days of Darkness is a low-budget zombie survivor story. A group of people, all hand picked from the standard apocalypse-survivor-cookie-cutter, hole up in a radio tower concrete bunker thingie after zombies take over the Earth. The apocalypse takes hold ridiculously quickly. We’re introduced to a couple camping out on a hilltop at night. They come down the next morning to find that zombies roam freely and a group of survivors have already fortified a defensive perimeter and hate each other. That’s right, in one night, the entire world went to Hell and the survivors have accepted their fate. No government resistance, no questioning whether loved ones are alive or not, no attempt at contact with other survivors. Some really inconsistent survivor in-fighting follows.

THE GOOD: Days of Darkness gets some points for originality, but not many since the original parts are so bizarre and stupid. There’s a lot of time dedicated to zombie genitals. This becomes a key plot point, but I really could have done without it.

THE BAD: The biggest problem with Days is that it just has no flow. The whole thing was really disjointed and comes across as a series of incomplete thoughts. The creators tried to throw a lot of different stuff at the wall, but none of it really stuck. Combine this with your standard, low-budget terrible writing and acting, and you’re left with a barely watchable movie.

THE ZOMBIES: Days features slow moving, shambling zombies for the most part. They were created by a meteorite falling from outer space. Most of the world is infected save for our handful of survivors. Bites and exposure to zombie fluids don’t appear to turn humans. The climax reveals an explanation why the survivors weren’t infected during the initial meteor shower, but as expected, it’s pretty stupid. Days also throws in a little alien parasite, zombie mutation twist, but none of it is very compelling.

THE VERDICT: Days was not the most horrible zombie movie I’ve seen, but it is certainly on the south side of the median. In the end, it’s just a really forgettable movie. I question how many details of this movie I’ll remember 6 months from now.

Current ZMN Rank: #47 out of 55

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

So what’s the cure for a lackluster opening movie? How about a wacky Japanese romp starring a cute female professional wrestler! Sounds like the perfect solution. Unfortunately, Battle Girl completely fails to deliver on every level.

A meteor has fallen to Earth (yes, again) and the metal particles and super-amphetamine (or some stupid crap) in the air have caused everyone in the immediate vicinity (Tokyo) to become infected with zombieism. Anyone infected turns into a zombie at death. Tokyo is quarantined and an evil military dude is killing survivors in an attempt to save Japan from disgrace in the eyes of the rest of the world (I think). He’s also experimenting on humans and zombies to create subservient undead soldiers. Battle Girl is enlisted to put a stop to his shenanigans and save the Tokyo refugees, all with the assistance of  a cheap costume-shop super suit.

THE GOOD: It’s not good. Battle Girl kicks ass in slow, poorly choreographed, and uninspired fight sequences.

THE BAD: Battle Girl is a disgrace to zombie movies, action movies, and wacky Asian movies. It fails in every area and ends up as a really boring, forgettable mess.

THE ZOMBIES: As mentioned above the zombies in Battle Girl are actually dead. Humans were infected by the amphetamine-laced metal shavings or whatever and only become zombies after they die. This is illustrated when Battle Girl kills a dude, he then spits out green Nickelodeon slime, and she kills him again. The zombie slave experiments are able to use weapons and dress in the Road Warriors’ left over costume pieces.

THE VERDICT: If Days of Darkness was forgettable, then Battle Girl is….really forgettable. The whole thing was really dull, boring, and uninspired.

Current ZMN Rank: #48 out of 55

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s