G.I. Joe: Zombie-Viper

Posted: 03/27/2012 in Novelties
Tags: , , ,


Cobra recruit #1: “We finally made it through evil basic training. Look, our assignment letters are here!”

Cobra recruit #2: “Oh boy! I really hope I made it into the Cobra EELS, or at least the Snow Serpents!”

Cobra recruit #1: (opens envelope) “Well, looks like I’m a Tele-Viper, the biggest nerds in Cobra. Dang.”

Cobra recruit #2: “Haha, sucks to be you. I’ll send you a email when I’m kicking ass in the Crimson Guard.” (opens envelope) “Ohhhhhh…..fuck.”

Cobra recruit #1: “What is it? Infantry? Dreadnok music video producer?”

Cobra recruit #2: “……Zombie-Viper. Shit.”

G.I. Joe is my favorite toy line of all time. Growing up in the 80’s, I was crazy for the 3 3/4 inch figures and they were often the highlights of the birthdays and Christmases of my formative years. As you may guessed. I also enjoy zombies. So imagine my excitement when I saw Zombie-Viper hanging on the shelf during a recent trip to Target.

From Zombie-Viper’s filecard:

ZOMBIE-VIPERS are COBRA infantry troopers who have been given a mysterious chemical substance, Compound Z, that has turned them into drones. Wiped of all thought, they follow orders mindlessly and cannot be reasoned with or sidetracked. They have retained their skill at combat; in fact, their desire to fight has been increased, making them more dangerous than before. In other words, they are deadly zombie warriors.

Now keep in mind, Cobra already has an army of robots who follow orders mindlessly and cannot be reasoned with. Why they feel the need to zombify their own soldiers is beyond me. Maybe just to remind everyone that they’re evil (the same reason Hitler keeps churning out those zombies 70 years after his death).

Anyway, the action figure itself is pretty cool. The modern Joe figures are high quality in general. Good looking sculpts, just the right amount of articulation (no unnecessary cuts or joints), and usually a load of accessories. Zombie contains all of these. I don’t have much use for his accessories, he comes with two interchangeable weird mutant/plant arms, a helmet and tube that connects to ports in his back, and a figure stand, but it’s nice that they’re included. Zombie’s blue highlights are a little odd, too, but it’s understandable that the figure isn’t made to look too gruesome. He does have sculpted hair that is painted the same grey color as his skin. It would have been nice if they gave him some hair color.

Zombie-Viper was $9 at Target. That’s a little pricier than I like, especially considering that just a few years back, Joes were selling for $6. I think you can pick him up for a dollar cheaper at Wal Mart, but it might be tough to find him as WM doesn’t seem to carry very many Joes lately. I can’t say that the other figures are worth the price, but my Zombie buddy sure is. He’s a great figure, especially considering that you can easily mix him in with any number of 3 3/4 inch figures that are out there.


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