Oh! My Zombie Mermaid & Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

Posted: 05/05/2012 in Movies
Tags: , , ,

Zombie Movie Night, May 2012 asked that age old question: Who makes crazier zombie movies Japan or Italy. Unfortunately, we’ll have to throw this one out as Zombie Mermaid barely qualifies. But, more on that…

Oh! My Zombie Mermaid

Be forewarned, oh lovers of great cinema, Oh! My Zombie Mermaid contains a mermaid, and it contains a zombie, but it does not contain a zombie mermaid. And that’s one of the least bizarre things about this movie.

Successful wrestler, Kouta Shishioh, is having a house warming party. This is a big deal, see, ’cause his wife has always dreamed of having a house (a small house, with big windows, and a small door, and a darling puppy. Trust me, it makes a great song). Unfortunately for Kouta, everything goes to shit when his rival shows up, a jerkass American dude who looks like Albert Wesker from Resident Evil. Wrestling wackiness ensues with broken chairs, tables, televisions, and a giant fish shoved down a man’s throat. The action culminates when a mysterious bomb blows the house to smithereens. House-loving wifey is caught in the blast and ends up in a coma. Even worse while she’s in the hospital, she starts to turn into a mermaid (a surprisingly common occurrence with coma victims, I Googled it.) Kouta is understandably upset by this and he begins to rebuild his house, a move that he is sure will cure his wife. He throws all of his money into the house and soon he can’t even afford to pay his stable of goofy wrestling buddies. In order to make things right, he reluctantly agrees to participate in a Pay-Per-View type event in which he will take on a group of evil murderous wrestlers (one of which being a zombie! ZMN classification satisfied!). The only venue suitable for such an event? Kouta’s new house, which he will lose ownership of if he is not victorious.

THE GOOD: Oh!MZM is wacky Japanese at its finest. There are a number of WTF! moments as well as plenty of times when I laughed out loud. This one is fun and entertaining from beginning to end.

THE BAD: The title is terribly misleading. The subtitles during the opening scene offer an alternate title: Ah! House of Wrestling, which is much more accurate. I was afraid that despite having the word zombie in the title, that it would not be eligible to be listed on the Zombie Movie Night Standings, luckily…

THE ZOMBIES ZOMBIE: Half way through the movie, a zombie wrestler makes the scene. He’s dirty and has white pupils. It seems that he might just be some kind of weirdo, until he starts stabbing himself and strangling our hero with his own intestines. Oh!MZM makes the list by the slimmest of margins.

THE VERDICT: I’d recommend Oh!MZM to anyone who loves wrestling or movies that are batshit insane. If it had more zombies in it, it would have scored much higher in the ZMN Standings. As zombie movie it’s a D, as crazy Japanese movie, it’s an A.

Current ZMN Rank: #37 out of 76

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

Burial Ground doesn’t waste any time getting to zombies and boobs, so neither will I! Let’s go!

THE GOOD: Far too often, zombie movies waste a lot of time building stuff up, whether it be character development or tension. BG:TNOT don’t play that! Zombies within the first 5 minutes, nudity within the first 15. BG:TNOT is entertaining in a super-cheesy kind of way.

THE BAD: Unfortunately, once the zombies get going, things slow down considerably. There is no story to speak of and things get really repetitive: zombies show up, people run…only to find more zombies, run and repeat. There are also some really questionable directorial decisions, such as long scenes of zombies walking…..very……very…..slowly, long super close-ups of the actor’s eyes, and the casting of a little person to play a child (although this may have been a necessity based on the fact that all the “kid” does during the movie is put the moves on his mom).

THE ZOMBIES: BG:TNOT zombies are a surprising bunch. They are extremely slow, but seem to put a spell on their victims, as those idiots have a lot of trouble evading the barely moving corpses, deciding instead to stand wide-eyed and get slowly choked. As the movie progresses, the zombies raid the toolshed and start to use scythes and axes. They show some impressive teamwork as they employ the use of a battering ram.

The make-up used for the zombies is interesting. Masks are used most of the time and look pretty gruesome, especially when covered in live maggots. Drawn out close-ups allow the viewer to clearly see the imperfections of the make-up, such as seeing the actor’s mouth underneath the mask’s zombie teeth. Despite this, or maybe because of this, I found myself strangely fond of the cheesy zombies.

THE VERDICT: BG:TNOT is not a good movie. It is stupid, cheesy, and crazy enough to be enjoyable. It started quick, but not strong and ends up a C-.

Current ZMN Rank: #53 out 76

Current ZMN Standings

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