A Little Bit Zombie & Bloodlust Zombies

Posted: 01/05/2013 in Movies
Tags: , , , ,

Happy New Year! It’s the first Zombie Movie Night of 2013 and we’ve got the very best that zombie theater has to offer….well, probably not. But, they’ve both got zombie in the title, so at least there won’t be any ambiguity. And one of them stars a porn actress, so there’s that.

A Little Bit Zombie

A Little Bit Zombie

Ok, I’ll be honest. I chose A Little Bit Zombie because it stars Stephen McHattie and I desperately want to have a two-time Golden Zombey award winner (he previously won Best Actor for Pontypool). So, despite it’s terribly unfunny-looking trailer, I decided to give ALBZ a shot.

Steve is an average Joe preparing for a wedding with his overbearing girlfriend. He has set up a weekend getaway with his sister and buddy/brother-in-law in order to attempt to heal the rift between his sister and his fiancee. Things get a little bit (see what I did there?) more complicated when Steve is bitten by a zombie mosquito. At the same time Steve and family try to deal with his growing zombieism, a pair of zombie hunting experts catch his scent; one intent on killing him, the other wanting to study his condition.

THE GOOD: ALBZ is decent in some areas, but mediocre in most. It’s occasionally funny, but not enough so to be considered an effective comedy.

THE BAD: Most of the time, ALBZ just comes off as lame. Stale relationship jokes, projectile vomit, and fart jokes abound. Even McHattie let me down, as his character is cliched, uninteresting, and the performance a little bit mailed-in.

THE ZOMBIES: The movie opens with some standard zombies. They look pretty good. Unfortunately, they don’t return as the focus remains solely on Steve, a zombie who doesn’t appear to be turning at a normal rate. Threat Level: 3

VERDICT: The best word to describe ALBZ is mediocre. It’s not unwatchably unfunny on a level with DeadHeads, it’s just kind of ….bleh, on par with a movie like Aaah! Zombies!! Grade: D+

Current ZMN Rank#84 out of 102

Golden Zombey WatchUnfortunately, I don’t think McHattie will get that second acting nomination yet. Perhaps he could sneak in Best Villain or Zombie Fighting Duo.

Bloodlust Zombies

Bloodlust Zombies

A quick search on Bloodlust Zombies reveals that it’s claim to fame is that the lead actress is porn star, Alexis Texas. That being what it is, I entered with pretty low expectations. But hey, it’s not like the genre is overflowing with tremendous acting performances anyway.

The story is pretty straight forward. An accident in a lab leads to a security shut-down and a bunch of employees find themselves locked-in with a bunch violent zombies.

THE GOOD: I liked this movie. Sure, the acting is pretty much porn-quality, but that’s really just a notch below zombie-quality. Bloodlust is goofy, self-aware, at times laughably bad, and at other times genuinely funny.

THE BAD: Bad acting, and Texas is probably the worst of the bunch. But that’s to be expected and most of the time was more likely to make me laugh then want to turn off the TV. The budget was also understandably low, as the gore effects are a bit below par.

THE ZOMBIES: It’s made quite clear in a character’s exposition that these are definitely not zombies, but rather humans who have had their brains altered to make them violent and aggressive. Of course, the characters routinely refer to the creatures as zombies and the movie has zombie in its title. Could that be a jab at the zombie vs. infected debate? Threat Level: 6

VERDICT: Good for a laugh. Certainly not as crappy as it could have been. If you’re a zombie fan or an Alexis Texas fan, I’d say it’s worth a watch. Grade: B

Current ZMN Rank#50 out of 102

Golden Zombey WatchC’mon, Best Nudity nominee is a lock. The outbreak is caused by a lab technician pantomiming a sex motion as the boss’ office fling is accidentally broadcast via intercom. Explain that one in an incident report! Probably good for a Most Original Zombie Origin nomination.

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