Posted: 01/22/2013 in Movies

(June 2012 was the only month that I failed to write reviews of the Zombie Movie Night features since I began this blog. I did start a post, but for one reason or another, never got past Helldriver. For some reason, I didn’t put it in my normal format. But, I suppose with a movie as wonderfully wacky as Helldriver, it inspired me to cast off the shackles of my self-imposed structure. Anywho, here’s the review. Maybe some day, I’ll get around to completing June 2012 with reviews of Choking Hazard and Descendents. Here’s a quick heads-up: Watch Choking Hazard. Don’t Watch Descendents.)

Zombie Movie Night, June 2012 gave us a blessing in disguise. Descendents was at the top of my Netflix list, but for some reason it took over a week to make it to my mailbox. This led me to quickly pick something on the Streaming list. I went with a wacky Japanese film, called…


Now I have to say that Japan has been a bit disappointing for me in terms of zombie movies. Battle Girl was a snooze-fest, Attack Girls’ Swim Team was okay, but too smutty for my tastes, Versus was too long and repetitive, Wild Zero was not as good as advertised, and Oh! My Zombie Mermaid, while a very good movie, was too light on actual zombie madness. Fortunately, Helldriver finally delivered that perfect mix of crazy, off-the-wall gore, WTF moments, and tongue-in-cheek zombie humor.

Kika is a girl with your regular teenage problems. Her psychotic, cannibalistic, possibly incestuous mother and uncle are running amok around town and generally making life miserable for Kika and her handicapped father. It seems that the family is just about to finish poor Kika off when WHAM! an asteroid falls from space leaving a decent-sized hole in Mom’s torso. With an impressive, never-say-die attitude Mom thinks on her toes and quickly rips Kika’s still-beating heart out of her chest and sticks it in her own gaping chest wound. Before Kika even has much of a chance to protest, the two are enveloped in some kind of weird space crystals. While they’re in their alien crystal-induced slumber, the asteroid spreads a zombie virus across half of the country. The government is able to throw up a wall, separating the infected from the more fortunate. They also find the frozen Kika and do some experimenting, turning her literally into a heartless, zombie-killing machine (armed with a chainsaw sword!). After a few twists and turns, she is ultimately enlisted on a mission to kill her zombie queen mother, who is at the mouth of the zombie outbreak. And that’s only about one quarter of the fantastic weirdness of Helldriver.

Everything in this movie is done with a knowing eye wink. It also attempts to cover some interesting subplots, such as a debate between slaughtering the infected vs. finding a way to live alongside of them. The run time is longer than typical zombie films, but never seemed slow-moving. It’s hard to be boring when you feature a fully functioning automobile made of zombie parts, a zombie that attacks with a zombie fetus used like a ball and chain, and a rocket ship made up of zombies holding onto one another and two missiles. I would definitely recommend putting this near the top of your zombie to-do list, Helldriver is an A.


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