Zombie Dearest & Resident Evil: Damnation

Posted: 02/05/2013 in Movies
Tags: , , , , ,

February is the month of love……..and African American history………….and cold, but mostly love. So Zombie Movie Night: February 2013 included two movies sure to tug at your heartstrings. And no one likes tugging on and devouring heartstrings more than zombies!

Zombie Dearest

Zombie Dearest

Gus is an aspiring comedy writer/loser who gets caught almost cheating on his wife. His wife, Deborah, subsequently moves out and into her childhood home. Gus chases after her and Deborah agrees to take him back with following conditions: he fixes up the house and doesn’t get a paying job while she brings home the bacon. Seems like an odd way to make up for infidelity, but let’s go with it, what the hell? Exasperated when attempting to repair a backed up septic system, Gus calls out to a greater power for some help. And apparently while doing this, he was grabbing a corpse’s penis…and apparently corpse’s penises have the power to grant wishes. As is such, help comes in the form of said corpse rising from the dead ready to do manual labor. Gus uses this as the opportunity to work on his (terrible) stand-up routine while Quinto the zombie works on digging up the septic system. Come to think of it, this movie is actually a rip-off of Michael Keaton’s Multiplicity, only with a zombie instead of a clone.

THE GOOD: In its best moments, ZD is slightly entertaining, but never really what I’d describe as good. I actually found its bizarre plot points to be the more enjoyable aspect of the movie: Corpse penises grant wishes?! Deborah’s parents killed the original Quinto and buried him next to their septic system because he was annoying?!

THE BAD: ZD is definitely bad, but its not the worst I’ve seen. One thing that I found most annoying is that the movie doesn’t seem to know how it wants the characters to react to the zombie in the backyard. Sometimes they’re scared of him and sometimes they accept his presence without question. It seemed to fluctuate based on the needs of the scene without thought to the broader picture. ZD contains a terrible cop-out ending, but even worse is that it contains a sex scene with no nudity! This seems to be an odd trend this season (see: Evilution, Legend of the Bog), and it needs to stop!

THE ZOMBIES: Quinto, the corpse buried in the backyard, is the solo zombie for most of the film. He’s pretty docile and trainable, though he does get a little bitey at points in the movie. He only scores one confirmed kill, but his seemingly tame affect allows him the opportunity to sneak up on you. For the sneakiness factor, his Threat Level elevates to a 4.

VERDICT: ZD is unique enough not to be a terrible movie. It’s not much overall, but it certainly has some moments. It’s lower end, but not the lowest. Grade: C-

Current ZMN Rank: #63 0ut of 104

Golden Zombey Watch: Outstanding Zombie seems to be loaded with mediocre zombies with names this year, if that trend continues Quinto may end up making the cut. Best Actress is kind of weak so far, which may work out for Shauna Black. ZD strongest contender will be Zombie Origin, because…corpse penis wishes, what the hell?!

Resident Evil: Damnation

Resident Evil Damnation

If you like Resident Evil video games, but can’t stand the constant button pressing and decision making, then you’re in luck! Resident Evil: Damnation is the second Resident Evil CG motion picture to follow the adventures of Leon Kennedy, star of the video games Resident Evil 2 and 4. The movie takes place in the same universe as the video games, so if you’ve been following along you know that Leon started out as a rookie cop caught in the zombie outbreak in Raccoon City and has since grown-up to become a globe-trotting special agent specializing in killing zombies …er, Bio-Organic Weapons. Damnation places him in an intentionally vague Eastern European country caught in the middle of a civil war, with both sides sporting monsters created with the zombie-creating plaga virus.

THE GOOD: RE:D is what it is. It plays out like one long video game cut scene. So, if you’re cool with that, you’ll probably enjoy this. Resident Evil 2 holds a special place in my heart, and I attribute a good deal of my affection towards zombies to that game. So I like watching the continuing adventures of Leon Kennedy.

THE BAD: RE:D is what it is. If you don’t like the games, then you won’t like this movie. The animation and voice acting is video game quality. It’s not the greatest thing you’ll ever see or hear, but it’s not awful.

THE ZOMBIES: As is typically the case with Resident Evil, especially in later stories, the zombies take a back seat to the monsters. Lickers are heavily featured and the giant monsters at the end are reminiscent of the big bald guy that chases Claire Redfield around in RE2. The zombies in the film are infected humans. They’re slightly evolved, they use weapons and purposely spread their zombieness by spitting a giant spore thing into their victims’ mouths. Threat Level: 7

VERDICT: How you feel about the games will ultimately decide how you feel about this movie. Even if you do like the games, there’s not really anything outstanding about this film. It’s enjoyable if you’ve got an hour and a half to kill. Grade: C

Current ZMN Rank: #59 out of 104

Golden Zombey Watch: If there is Best Animated category this year, RE:D will definitely be there. Not sure it will get many nominations past that.

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