Posts Tagged ‘animated zombie movie’

I don’t know if my Zombie Movie Night expectations were ever as low as they were for the two offerings in the first showing of 2014. Nothing in my zombie list was really calling out to me, so I decided to make an attempt to revive the Golden Zombey category of Best Animated Feature by picking The Amazing Adventures of the Living Corpse. It looked pretty crappy, but how bad could it be? My brother made the discovery that Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead was streaming on Netflix. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead

Zombie Ass

Zombie. Ass. Toilet. Of the Dead. Let’s just let that sink in. You know it’s from Japan. Wacky Japanese movies can be great (see Helldriver). They can also be terrible (see Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay). They can also get into weird, creepy, fetish areas (see Attack Girls Swim Team Vs. The Undead). Zombie Ass straddles that line, and comes pretty close to jumping over it. Luckily, most of it is pretty watchable.

So the story goes that a group of teens are camping in the forest in search of parasites so that one girl can ingest one and fulfill her dreams of becoming a super thin model. Somehow, this great plan goes awry. The parasite she eats turns out to be a mutant parasite that causes zombieism and occasionally sprouts out of the victim’s anus with razor sharp teeth. More butt parasite zombies show up and the group seeks shelter in a local village where they come across a scientist doctor dude and his young daughter, who are more evil than they first appear. There’s also some backstory about the hero’s guilt over not being able to save her younger sister who committed suicide because some school bullies forced her to fart in the presence of others. Spoiler Alert: she overcomes her fear and triumphs over evil with the power of farting in public.

THE GOOD: I know some of that sounds great, but it really comes out weird on screen. Obviously this film does not take itself too seriously, and there are parts that are bizarrely entertaining and funny. It builds some good momentum, but then goes off the rails.

THE BAD: The last chapter of the movie is really where it falls apart. The film turns from entertaining and kind of fun to disturbing and uncomfortable. However, if anime-style tentacle rape is your kind of thing, then you might think that the ending is the best part (and I don’t want to hang out with you).

THE ZOMBIES: The zombies start out pretty standard. A whole horde arises from an outhouse covered in shit. I’m not sure how they ended up there or how they all fit down there, but I’m able to suspend disbelief enough to cover it. Again, things get weird at the end, when the tentacle parasites start sprouting from the zombies’ butts, leading them to attack butt-first in a reverse bear crawl.

VERDICT: Not as slimy as Attack Girls’ Swim Team Vs. The Undead, but not nearly as good as the best Japanese zombie stuff. It’s probably best to pass on Zombie Ass. Grade: D+

Current ZMN Rank: #99 out of 134

Golden Zombey WatchDepends on how weak Best Actress is, but Arisa Nakamura might have an outside chance. This was our first non-English film, so Foreign Film might be sparse again. I’ll be looking for Shit Man when it comes time to pick Outstanding Zombie.

The Amazing Adventures of the Living Corpse

Amazing Adventures of the Living Corpse

Based on title alone, you’d think that this would be a light-hearted, fun, animated romp. You would be dead wrong. There is nothing amazing about the boring-ass adventures of the living corpse. I feel compelled to summarize the plot, but I know it’s not worth my time. I’ll just speak in incomplete sentences instead. Corpse back from dead. Kills family. Spares son, develops awareness. Goes to underworld. Tries to find son who is in foster care for victims of the supernatural. Flash forward 15 years for no reason. Evil scientist. Fight.

THE GOOD: Nope.

THE BAD: TAAotLC is bad in every area. The animation is terrible and would have looked terrible 20 years ago. It’s clunky, awkward, and is in every way unappealing. The voice acting is horrendous, as is the dialogue. The plot is incoherent and disjointed. Character motivations are all over the place and often don’t make sense. I was wondering why this movie was 3 hours long before I realized it was just a tremendously painful 87 minutes.

VERDICT: Worst. Movie. Ever. Grade: F

Current ZMN Rank: #134 out of 134. It doesn’t get lower than that, you piece of shit. And again, if you’re the worst zombie movie I’ve ever seen, it probably means you’re straight-up the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

Golden Zombey WatchEven if Best Animated Feature makes a comeback, this doesn’t deserve to be on the ballot.

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It’s October, a fantastic month full of foliage and monsters. It is also the start of the 5th year of Zombie Movie Night. And this year, the new season came barreling in with a ….meh.

Corpses

Corpses

Corpses is a low-budget tongue-in-cheek zombie comedy whose claim to fame is that it was able to wrangle in big time actor somewhat recognizable actor, Jeff Fahey (Darkman III: Die Darkman Die, Locusts: The 8th Plague). In the film, a local mortician who was on a personal quest to create a bigger, better form of formaldehyde (is that a thing that people are clamoring for?) accidentally discovers a way to raise the dead temporarily. Like any one of us would do, he uses this discovery to make the zombies steal stuff so that he can earn enough money to reconcile with his gold-digging estranged ex-wife. (It sounds a lot more plausible as he explains his plan with visual aids to a group of newly resurrected zombies) Things become more complicated when his ex-wife, who is married to the town sheriff (Fahey), concocts a scheme to turn the mortician’s funeral home into a mall while his assistant (who is dating the sheriff’s daughter) becomes suspicious of his boss’s affairs. Zombies start killing people too, so I guess that also complicates things. I feel like I’ve spent too much time describing this crappy movie.

THE GOOD: Corpses is laughably bad. Part of it is intended, but a lot just comes from the overacting and stupidly ridiculous plot points. It features some boobs, which should always be a given when you’re watching a crappy movie, but sadly some movies neglect this necessity. Kudos to you, Corpses.

THE BAD: This is a bad movie, but not unwatchable. It doesn’t take itself seriously in any fashion, which makes it much easier to swallow.

THE ZOMBIES: The mortician’s formula revives the dead for a brief period of time. He manipulates the zombies into doing his bidding because they need some of his special sauce to remain animated. They are prone to violence, but do not appear to be infectious in the film.  Threat Level: 5

VERDICT: This film is only for those foolish enough to be on a zombie film-watching mission. It won’t make you rethink your life choices for better or worse. Sometimes that’s the best you can do on ZMN, but still kind of disappointing on this anniversary month.

Current ZMN Rank: #73 out 126

Golden Zombey WatchI would be surprised if Corpses has strong representation come awards season, but here are some possibilities: Supporting Actress – Tiffany Shepis, the sheriff’s daughter, Outstanding Zombie – Babs, the prostitute zombie, Best Villain – Fred Withers, the mortician, or Best Nudity.

Dead Space: Downfall

Dead Space Downfall

Dead Space: Downfall is a movie based on a video game franchise that I have never played. I, therefore, have no opinion on or connection to the source material. Maybe someone who has played the game and seen the movie can let me know if that’s good or bad. According to my (vast, vast) research, this film takes place before the first game. Space Miners in a desolate future uncover an ancient obelisk that they proceed to bring onto their giant spaceship. (Sounds like a bad idea already, doesn’t it?) Along with it comes an alien species that takes over the bodies of humans and transforms them into violent monsters (but, really who amongst us wouldn’t like a new set of arms, so it’s not all bad). The presence of the aliens or the obelisk or something also make the survivors paranoid and turn on each other. Fighting against this unwinnable situation is badass female security chief, Alissa Vincent, and her small, racially diverse team of cannon fodder.

THE GOOD: DS:D is a decent film. There’s a lot of action and that creepy, alone in space, invaded by aliens feel, reminiscent of some kick ass sci-fi movies of old. It’s also got a dynamic that my brother and I have always enjoyed: team of good guys goes down one-by-one while fighting evil threat (The Predator dynamic, if you will).

THE BAD: My brother pointed this out during the film: cartoon characters cursing feels uncomfortable, regardless of the context. For some reason, the graphic violence sat just fine with me, but the cursing didn’t seem right (just like when Beachhead said “Shit” to Jinx, back in my childhood).

THE ZOMBIES: They’re humans possessed by aliens, which is an acceptable form of zombie for ZMN inclusion. The infected sprout a new set of arms from their torsos while they’re old arms become crazy, scythe-like blades. They also develop sharp, monster teeth. They’re fast and vicious, and if you’ve played the game, I’m guessing that you can figure out that no one survives this prequel. Threat Level: 9

VERDICT: If Corpses is slightly below the median of zombie quality, DS:D is slightly above it. It’s ok, but nothing that’s going to rock your world. A good watch for zombie enthusiasts or fans of the game, but probably not for anyone else.

Current ZMN Rank: #62 of 126

Golden Zombey WatchIf Animated Feature makes a comeback, then DS:D will be there. If not, look for it in Best Zombie-Fighting Team or Most Memorable Massacring.