Posts Tagged ‘Tiffany Shepis’

Golden Zombey Logo Season 5 is over people, 1/2 a decade of zombie movies in the can. The end of the season means that it is time to hand out the coveted Golden Zombeys! Celebrating the best and the worst that Zombie Movie Night had to offer. Eligible movies were any that were viewed as part of Zombie Movie Night between October 2013 and September 2014. Here’s a quick rundown of the winners. Congratulations to all! For a more detailed presentation including nominees, pictures, and explanations for each winner, click the link:

13:14 Zombeys PDF

2014 Hall of Fame Inductee: Shaun of the Dead

Best Zombie Movie Night Feature: The Battery

Best Actor in a Zombie Movie: Dan Palmer – Stalled

Best Actress in a Zombie Movie: Najarra Townsend – Contracted

Best Supporting Actor in a Zombie Movie: Jarrod Pistilli – Buck Wild

Best Supporting Actress in a Zombie Movie: Caroline Williams – Contracted

Outstanding Zombie in a Zombie Movie: Propeller Head – Frankenstein’s Army

Best Villain (Non-Zombie): Dr. Viktor Frankenstein – Frankenstein’s Army

Best Zombie-Fighting Duo or Team: Overtime – Raph & Max

Best Zombie Comedy: Dead Before Dawn

Best Nudity: Night of the Creeps

Best Foreign Film: Eaters

Most Memorable Massacring of Zombies: Zombie Hunter – Father Jesus with an Axe

Most Original Zombie Origin: Attack of the Vegan Zombies – Witchcraft and Blood/Alcohol Content

Best Soundtrack: The Battery

Most Bizarre Zombie Behavior: The Dead Matter – Zombie’s Day Out

Best Unintentional Comedy: Zombie Massacre – The President of the United States

Worst Ending: Dorm of the Dead

Biggest “WTF” Moment: Frankenstein’s Army

Best Poster Art: Eaters

Check out previous years’ winners here

Advertisements

My brother and I always like to fit it in some extra movies to kick off a new season of ZMN, so we got together a second time and bore witness to:

Cockneys vs. Zombies

Cockneys vs Zombies

Not being of British descent, I have only a very passing familiarity with the term Cockney. From what I know, it describes a working-class segment of the population who use funny-sounding, sometimes indecipherable slang. CvZ pits a group of locals against an undead army. A team of good-hearted, but underachieving brothers plan a bank heist with their cousin, their friend, and an unhinged thug in order to save the nursing home that their grandfather owns. During the heist, zombies hit the streets, and now the team is tasked with crossing town to save the old folks while trying to keep themselves alive.

THE GOOD: CvZ is at times funny, heartfelt, and wacky. There’s some pretty good zombie action and I ended up caring about the characters, which is always good.

THE BAD: Some of the jokes about old people being tough and cursing got a little stale towards the end of the film. Not incredibly groan-worthy or anything that detracted too much. The gags just got a little….old. (See what I did?)

THE ZOMBIES: Pretty standard slow zombies. Slow enough to not be able to outrun an elderly man with a walker (one of the old people gags that was funny). There’s an origin story at the beginning of the film that involves a construction crew unearthing an ancient evil, but the cause of the outbreak is largely inconsequential.

VERDICT: CvZ is a solid film and pretty good throughout. Not great enough to breakthrough to the upper echelon of great zombie films, but definitely worth a watch. Grade: B+.

Current ZMN Rank#31 out of 126

Golden Zombey WatchMain character brothers, Terry & Andy seem likely contenders for Zombie Fighting Duo. The boys’ female cousin and the unhinged Mental Mickey might also take runs at Supporting Actress and Best Villain, respectively. The film also had some good music that might be enough for a Best Soundtrack nod.

Dorm of the Dead

Dorm of the Dead

As you can see, the poster for Dorm of the Dead features a ringing endorsement from Howard Stern: “Nice Job. Congratulations.” I’m quite sure he meant, “Congratulations on getting your horribly shit movie released to the public somehow.” Dorm of the Dead is bad. Really bad. Bad in the “can barely be considered a movie” kind of way. Any amount of time I spend writing about it will only be worth it if one person reads this and decides not to watch it.

THE GOOD: DotD has one very slight saving grace: it features some nudity. That’s the only nice thing I can say about it. It is slightly unsettling though, because after some un-story-related girls show their boobs, the main characters from that point on look like they’re about 15 years old.

THE BAD: But I guess that doesn’t matter because it also seems like most of the actors in this film never actually met one another. Rarely are two characters seen in frame at the same time. Extensive research reveals that this movie was filmed concurrently in California and Tennessee, and it’s pretty obvious which actors came from which region. The villain in the movie never appears in frame with the main character even when they are supposed to be having a face-to-face conversation.

THE ZOMBIES: The bulk of the “plot” revolves around the main character slowly becoming a zombie after the villain pours zombie blood in her mouth while she’s sleeping (did somebody say greatest college prank ever?). She starts to kill people in a very boring fashion. There’s also some other zombies running around, but they don’t really matter.

VERDICT: There’s no way I ever would have watched this for more than 5 minutes if it weren’t for Zombie Movie Night. Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Anyway, DotD would have easily been bottom 3 in the Standings if not for nudity. Unlike the very bottom of the list, DotD at least had the decency to be slightly indecent.

Current ZMN Standing: #122 out 126

Golden Zombey WatchAmazing that a movie this bad could still contend for Worst Ending, yet it contains an epilogue completely unrelated to the rest of the film. It is painfully unfunny and seemed to go on forever, even though it was probably not much longer than 5 minutes.

It’s October, a fantastic month full of foliage and monsters. It is also the start of the 5th year of Zombie Movie Night. And this year, the new season came barreling in with a ….meh.

Corpses

Corpses

Corpses is a low-budget tongue-in-cheek zombie comedy whose claim to fame is that it was able to wrangle in big time actor somewhat recognizable actor, Jeff Fahey (Darkman III: Die Darkman Die, Locusts: The 8th Plague). In the film, a local mortician who was on a personal quest to create a bigger, better form of formaldehyde (is that a thing that people are clamoring for?) accidentally discovers a way to raise the dead temporarily. Like any one of us would do, he uses this discovery to make the zombies steal stuff so that he can earn enough money to reconcile with his gold-digging estranged ex-wife. (It sounds a lot more plausible as he explains his plan with visual aids to a group of newly resurrected zombies) Things become more complicated when his ex-wife, who is married to the town sheriff (Fahey), concocts a scheme to turn the mortician’s funeral home into a mall while his assistant (who is dating the sheriff’s daughter) becomes suspicious of his boss’s affairs. Zombies start killing people too, so I guess that also complicates things. I feel like I’ve spent too much time describing this crappy movie.

THE GOOD: Corpses is laughably bad. Part of it is intended, but a lot just comes from the overacting and stupidly ridiculous plot points. It features some boobs, which should always be a given when you’re watching a crappy movie, but sadly some movies neglect this necessity. Kudos to you, Corpses.

THE BAD: This is a bad movie, but not unwatchable. It doesn’t take itself seriously in any fashion, which makes it much easier to swallow.

THE ZOMBIES: The mortician’s formula revives the dead for a brief period of time. He manipulates the zombies into doing his bidding because they need some of his special sauce to remain animated. They are prone to violence, but do not appear to be infectious in the film.  Threat Level: 5

VERDICT: This film is only for those foolish enough to be on a zombie film-watching mission. It won’t make you rethink your life choices for better or worse. Sometimes that’s the best you can do on ZMN, but still kind of disappointing on this anniversary month.

Current ZMN Rank: #73 out 126

Golden Zombey WatchI would be surprised if Corpses has strong representation come awards season, but here are some possibilities: Supporting Actress – Tiffany Shepis, the sheriff’s daughter, Outstanding Zombie – Babs, the prostitute zombie, Best Villain – Fred Withers, the mortician, or Best Nudity.

Dead Space: Downfall

Dead Space Downfall

Dead Space: Downfall is a movie based on a video game franchise that I have never played. I, therefore, have no opinion on or connection to the source material. Maybe someone who has played the game and seen the movie can let me know if that’s good or bad. According to my (vast, vast) research, this film takes place before the first game. Space Miners in a desolate future uncover an ancient obelisk that they proceed to bring onto their giant spaceship. (Sounds like a bad idea already, doesn’t it?) Along with it comes an alien species that takes over the bodies of humans and transforms them into violent monsters (but, really who amongst us wouldn’t like a new set of arms, so it’s not all bad). The presence of the aliens or the obelisk or something also make the survivors paranoid and turn on each other. Fighting against this unwinnable situation is badass female security chief, Alissa Vincent, and her small, racially diverse team of cannon fodder.

THE GOOD: DS:D is a decent film. There’s a lot of action and that creepy, alone in space, invaded by aliens feel, reminiscent of some kick ass sci-fi movies of old. It’s also got a dynamic that my brother and I have always enjoyed: team of good guys goes down one-by-one while fighting evil threat (The Predator dynamic, if you will).

THE BAD: My brother pointed this out during the film: cartoon characters cursing feels uncomfortable, regardless of the context. For some reason, the graphic violence sat just fine with me, but the cursing didn’t seem right (just like when Beachhead said “Shit” to Jinx, back in my childhood).

THE ZOMBIES: They’re humans possessed by aliens, which is an acceptable form of zombie for ZMN inclusion. The infected sprout a new set of arms from their torsos while they’re old arms become crazy, scythe-like blades. They also develop sharp, monster teeth. They’re fast and vicious, and if you’ve played the game, I’m guessing that you can figure out that no one survives this prequel. Threat Level: 9

VERDICT: If Corpses is slightly below the median of zombie quality, DS:D is slightly above it. It’s ok, but nothing that’s going to rock your world. A good watch for zombie enthusiasts or fans of the game, but probably not for anyone else.

Current ZMN Rank: #62 of 126

Golden Zombey WatchIf Animated Feature makes a comeback, then DS:D will be there. If not, look for it in Best Zombie-Fighting Team or Most Memorable Massacring.